Easy Answers?
We are hours away from the beginning of the new month and I sit gazing at my Parisian calendar, dreaming of different times. With life frozen like a fly in amber it’s impossible to know when we will touch the shores of Europe again. This uncertainty is the stage upon which the rest of our lives are performed. It is as well to be mindful of this fact and not be lulled into the strange trance like acceptance of so much of the anti human energy which has cast a magical sleep upon us all. As fairy tales are never far from my thoughts these days, I can’t help but remember the castle of Briar Rose and the sleeping inhabitants therein. Of course they were fortunate enough to awaken from their one hundred year sleep not a day older; we creatures of a day will not be so fortunate.
A happier train of thought ushers in awareness of the fine and bright energy of spring which is flying through the air. I’ve come to see it here in the bumptious breezes of this time of year, like a roaring lion shaking out his mane after a long sleep and in the rainbow quality of the light. March brings us two simultaneous birthdays; our daughter and our doggie have their sixth and eighth birthdays respectively. The gradual increase of our daily freedoms has permitted us to plan several mini celebrations which should fill the heart of a particular soon to be six year old. As for our canine, he will be happy as long as he is wherever we are; such is the wonderful faithfulness of his kind.
During this beautiful season the contrasts of Los Angeles itself become ever more apparent. Driving home in the glorious sunshine a few days ago, surrounded by the mountain views, I was hit afresh by that boundless sense of fluid freedom so characteristic of the best of this city. Whereas Manhattan layers upon itself again and again, Los Angeles can appear to be a territory without limits. Although a refusal to acknowledge the growing storm clouds on the city’s horizon is a fool’s game, the city of angels still has magic enough to spare when the rite of spring steps forth.
For myself, I find the tears flowing freely while I watch Bob Dylan perform Every Grain of Sand on YouTube. I’ve been haunted by fear of the flowers of indulgence recently. How easily we can fall into temptation and become entombed in a frozen case of our own imagining, despite the best of our intentions. We have to fight at every step to keep our heart free from decay as we move through time and the pathways of life. On a journey where future lives are longer than this one, there are no painless routes away from the clutches of our own worst instincts. May we carry spring forever in our hearts even when we are struggling through the wastelands of our mind as the night comes falling.
