Time out of Mind

We went running this evening around the Brentwood Country Club. As the sun drew low behind the tall palm trees the air filled with that Los Angeles twilight to which no picture can ever do justice. It is not just the quality of the light but the feel of it that’s important; as if one had stepped for a moment into a strange, transcendent realm where bathing in light itself was all of a sudden a real possibility and for that brief magical time everything is transfigured.

I ran gently in the gathering dusk, faithfully following the swift silhouette of my husband. As I moved around the sandy track, every bump and poking tree root of which I know well, my mind wandered back over the past week which is drawing to its close as we pull nearer to the inevitable shore of Monday morning.

In many ways it’s been a week like any other except for the fact of Thursday having been my birthday. I’m one of those creatures who has always loved their birthday. It’s a time out of mind experience for me; one where I get to travel through the passing day at a different and slower pace. The world seems to shine with infinite possibility and I am filled with a deep and abiding happiness. 

Thursday was no different. Like an eager child waiting for the birthday post, I checked my phone as soon as I awoke and read those all important messages from my parents and siblings back at home in London. As the dance of the day swung into action I felt more connected to the day of my birth than I ever have before whilst also realising that the new age, of forty, could not be blithely accepted but had to be slowly digested and carefully received with each newly arriving hour. And so I spent the day in a quietly joyful way with my family; a coffee date with my husband and dog while the children were at school; a car ride with my teenage son and a lovely evening meal at home where my three year old chattered happily about birthdays, pumpkins, pirates and mermaids.

I’m so happy to have reached this milestone. It somehow seems as though I have stepped through an open door into a new abode filled with promise and potential. As I look around and see bookshelves stacked with the exciting plans that I’m making, both alone and with my amazing friends and companions, life seems very full and tremendously precious.